


times are changing

by thehawkguy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Steve Rogers, Coming Out, Friends to Lovers, Gay Bucky Barnes, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Queer author, actually steve IDs more as queer than bi in this but the tag is still pretty much relevant, the first couple of chapters are set back in the 1940s but the rest will be in the modern day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-05-20 07:16:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14890038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehawkguy/pseuds/thehawkguy
Summary: Bucky coming to terms with himself and how times have changed since the 1940s.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> wow i'd forgotten how much i hate having to think of titles and descriptions of things lmao
> 
> so this is the first thing ive properly written in like nearly 2 years bc my life and brain have been a mess so im really glad im finally able to find time to write again! and this is also the first marvel fic ive written which im excited about

The feeling of a fist to the stomach was something that you really never got used to, Bucky found himself musing, breathing as deeply as he could while keeled over in pain and giving it everything he could not to throw up.

He felt a hand lightly on his shoulder. “Buck?”

Despite the agony Bucky forced himself upright, fixing a defiant smirk on his face even though humour was the _last_ thing he was feeling right now. “I’m good. Bastard barely even winded me,” he responded looking only at the enraged man in front of him, who growled at the provocation.

“You self righteous-”

“Break it up! You over there!” The yell from the bartender was enough to make the other man hesitate, looking over to see a man who was significantly burlier than both him _and_ Bucky- probably the owner of the place- heading towards them.

For a second Bucky considered doing the same; stepping back and stopping the fight, maybe preventing them from being kicked out of the bar for causing a commotion. But then he remembered why he’d started this fight in the first place and before he knew it he was taking advantage of the distraction to lay his fist into the guy’s left cheek.

“Shit-!” He felt another fist bury itself into his abdomen, while he tried his best to land a couple more anywhere he could hit the guy before there was a hand on his chest, roughly shoving them apart.

“Out, both of you!” The owner demanded shortly, eyeing them both as if daring either them to carry on or stand up to him. Bucky’s opponent glared for a couple more seconds before reluctantly turning his back and storming away. “ _Now_.” For half a second Bucky actually considered the idea of standing his ground, until Steve spoke from behind him.

“Come on Buck, there’s plenty of other bars.”

Bucky sighed and turned away too, wincing as the movement and come-down of adrenaline made him suddenly all too aware of the ache in his stomach. “ _‘Asking for it’_ my arse,” he muttered darkly to Steve as they exited the bar, the owner’s eyes on them until they were completely out on the street. “ _He_ was asking to be fucking punched.”

“Damn right he was,” Steve agreed. “You alright pal?” His eyes were lingering on the hand that Bucky had clutched to his side.

“‘Course,” Bucky gave a pained grin back. “Told you, he barely winded me.” It was a lie and he knew Steve knew it, but he also knew that if he made the call that he’d be okay, Steve would trust him on that too. “So, where to now? Or d’you wanna just grab a bottle of whiskey from some store and drink it at home like sad, antisocial bastards?”

Up until then they’d been slowly wandering along the street in no particular direction other than away from the bar they’d just left. At that question, Steve stopped walking and put his hands in his jacket pockets, turning to look around them for inspiration. There was a slight wind blowing through the air, which meant each time he turned Steve was having to push his hair out of his face. “Y’know if you got that haircut like I keep telling you, your hair wouldn’t be in your face so much.”

“And I keep telling you I’d rather spend the five dollars on food,” Steve shot back, but Bucky could see the way the corner of his mouth turned up anyway, and at this point grinning back was just instinct. “I reckon we should just call it a night.” Steve decided a few seconds later. “I heard from someone you can get a pretty cheap bottle from a shop near here. You can stay the night at mine.”

“Sounds good, lead the way.” Bucky agreed. “Hey, that vague ‘someone’ happen to be a girl?” He added, half teasing half curious.

Steve rolled his eyes. “‘Course not. You’re really still on about me getting a girl, Buck? We both know I’m far too small and scrappy for just about every girl in Brooklyn.”

Bucky scoffed, “Yeah I am, and you’ve gotta stop putting yourself down like that Stevie. Any girl who thinks that just don’t deserve you tha’s all.”

“I think it’s this way,” Steve gestured down the street in the direction they’d been walking, so they set off in that direction. “I’m not putting myself down Buck, it’s just the truth,” Steve continued their previous conversation. “And really, I’m not so bothered by it. You’re the one who’s more invested in setting me up. You know I appreciate it, but I’m fine on my own.”

It wasn’t like he was saying anything Bucky didn’t already know. They’d had this conversation at least twice before, but he still felt compelled to keep trying. “But forever Stevie? I know you can get by looking after yourself most of the time, but you get _sick_. What about in ten, twenty years, when you get ill? The kinda ill where you can’t get out of bed to get your medication and I’ve gotta make sure you wake up on time to take them?”

“Buck we’ve talked about this,” Steve’s voice was less jovial than before, now it was firm and sharp. He wasn’t annoyed yet, but if Bucky kept pushing, he would be. “I know, you worry about me. But don’t, I’ll manage okay?”

Bucky’s eyes flitted over the man walking next to him. The lights from the buildings they passed cast patches of light and shadows onto the pale skin of Steve’s face, and his straw blond hair was still blowing around his head as he looked on at the street ahead of them. The jacket he was wearing must’ve been at least a size too big, but Steve didn’t care enough about appearances to spend the money on tailored clothes- even if it meant that he was positively swimming in everything he owned. From looking at him, it wasn’t uncommon for people to say they were surprised just a gust of wind hadn’t knocked him to the ground. But they couldn’t be more wrong. Steve Rogers was the kind of person to walk right into a hurricane and ignore every time his feet stumbled. No matter how battered and bruised he’d be from falling, he’d still find it in him to stand back up and push on, regardless of if there was even an end in sight.

Steve looked over at him and Bucky quickly looked away, slightly embarrassed for being caught staring. “I mean it. Don’t worry about me.” Bucky nodded, knowing he didn’t really have a choice. The moment he did, Steve sighed, grateful. “Thank you. Anyway, I’m the one who has a right to be worried tonight. You’ve already been socked in the stomach twice, and the sun’s barely even set.”

“Hey, you can’t say you wouldn’t have done the same if I hadn’t got in there before you. Jerks like him that act like women don’t deserve basic human respect need a good punch in the face. Although I can’t say I’d be up for another fight like that this evening,” he admitted, still very much sore.

Not long after that they arrived at the shop. It wasn’t the most respectable looking place, but for an extra dollar or two in their pockets they didn’t care what it looked like.

“One bottle or two?” Bucky called out once he’d found a shelf with a brand he recognised from his parents’ cabinet.

“Two, then it’ll last us longer,” Steve responded, ceasing his own search and heading over to where Bucky was standing.

“You say that like one and a half glasses isn’t you done for the night. One bottle would last you weeks.”

Steve grinned, “hey, it’s the only way my fucked up health _saves_ me money.” Bucky laughed. “But we may as well get two, since we’re here.”

They paid and as soon as they set foot out of the shop Bucky wrenched the lid off and took a couple of gulps, before passing the open bottle over. By the time they reached Steve’s house the ache in his stomach had successfully been somewhat dulled by the effects of the alcohol.

Once they were through the door their shoes were off and Bucky’s battered pack of cards that he’d stolen from his dad when they were teenagers, was out. Drinking and playing cards was an easy way to pass the evening, and only got more entertaining as the night went on and the alcohol made their skills worse and worse. Despite getting drunk far quicker it was almost always Steve who won, but Bucky would happily concede that Steve could outwit him in most circumstances.

The sun had long since set by the time they got bored of playing, and abandoned the cards in favour of talking. By now they were both happily loosened up by the alcohol, but stopped drinking before they could get too inebriated. After the first couple of times Steve had drunk too much he’d learned that it _really_ wasn’t worth the effect it had on his physical condition for several days afterwards. And when it was just the two of them, it was most comfortable when they were both at the same level of tipsy.

“You know, lately my ma’s been hassling me about when I’m gonna bring home a girl.” Bucky spoke after they fell into a few minutes of comfortable silence, mentioning something that had been on his mind over the last two weeks that he hadn’t had chance to tell Steve about. In the past couple of weeks they hadn’t seen as much of each other as usual since Bucky’s sister had been taken ill, and he’d spent more time than usual helping his mother out at home.

“Yeah?”

Bucky nodded. “Mmm. I think it’s ‘cause I’m finally getting somewhere with my job. You know how from the second I left school she always used to ask when I’d be getting a good, respectable job…” He didn’t mean it bitterly, he always appreciated his mother’s concern for him living a happy and successful life. “And now my boxing’s going well, so she doesn’t need to keep asking ‘bout that anymore. And this guy Becca’s been dating has been coming round to see her while she’s been ill, so I think ma’s got relationships on the mind.”

Steve hummed sympathetically, but said nothing, letting Bucky continue. “You know I don’t like letting her down, but I just…” He sighed. “How many dates have I been on?”

“A lot.”

Bucky put his face in his hands. “Exactly. I dunno Stevie I just… why can’t I find the right girl?” He tried his best to keep the extent of his frustration out of his voice, though he was sure Steve could probably read him anyway.

“I keep telling you, you’re too much of a romantic Buck,” Steve said gently once he was sure Bucky was done speaking. “You break it off with most girls ‘cause you’re sure they’re not _’the one’_ but what if you’re missing out on her just ‘cause you broke up with her before you realised it? My ma said on their first couple of dates she found my dad really boring- it wasn’t til she got to know him more that she fell for him.”

Steve had a point and Bucky knew it- he knew that he broke up with an incredibly high number of the girls he’d taken out after just one or two dates. He felt bad about it- like he was being too fickle or judgemental- but at the same time he couldn’t deny he really couldn’t see it going further with _any_  of them, and it would’ve been unfair to lead them on when it was unlikely he was going to develop any stronger feelings for them.

“I know that. But it’s not that I dismiss them before I even give it chance- I _try_ , it’s just… none of them ever feel right. I don’t know how to explain it Stevie, I just…” He trailed off, unsure how to word his feelings. “And then the few girls I _did_ end up liking- you remember Mary, and Betty?” Steve nodded. “The girls I do end up dating for longer all end up breaking it off with me. And... I feel like _I’m_ the problem Stevie. Like… I’m just not meant for anyone.” It took more effort than Bucky would’ve liked to stop his voice from catching with emotion as he admitted that outloud. He cursed himself for not deciding to talk about this sober, when he’d almost definitely be able to hide how affected be was.

This was a thought that had crossed his mind a lot lately when he was alone, in the minutes and hours before he fell asleep. An insecurity that it hurt to admit to himself, because it felt equal parts frustrating as well as upsetting. Because if he knew the problem was himself, then why couldn’t he fix it?

The way they were sitting opposite each other across the table made it impossible not to see every expression that crossed Steve’s face, making Bucky feel even more vulnerable as he could clearly see the sadness and sympathy mixed with concern.

“Hey, and you’re the one that told _me_ to stop putting myself down,” Steve said. “That’s not true Buck,” he said firmly. “There’s nothing wrong with you, okay? There’s nothing wrong with waiting to find the right girl, however long it takes. Nothing perfect ever came easy right?” He waited, hoping to hear some agreement come from his friend, but Bucky couldn’t bring himself to even pretend the words made him feel better. “And as for disappointing your ma- I’m sure she’d rather you be with someone you’re happy with than force yourself to settle down with someone you’re not. She just wants you to be happy, that’s the only reason she’s asking about it.”

That part, Bucky couldn’t argue with. “If it’ll make you feel better,” Steve continued, “I’ll even start going back out on double dates with you, if you want.”

Bucky laughed a little, knowing that was what Steve wanted, and the smaller man grinned back too. “Wow, you’re offering that a couple of hours after telling me to stop trying to set you up. I’m touched Stevie.” His tone was joking but the words were sincere.

“Yeah, well I’m just a great friend like that,” Steve responded, still grinning.

They descended into silence again, but only for half a minute or so before Bucky noticed Steve’s brow crease, his expression becoming thoughtful all of a sudden.

“Care to share?” He asked, knowing that if Steve didn’t want to, he’d feel completely comfortable saying so and knowing Bucky wouldn’t pry.

But instead, Steve nodded. “I’ve kinda had relationships on the mind lately too.” Bucky was confused- just earlier that night Steve had told him that he was perfectly content not being with anyone. But before he had chance to ask, Steve carried on. “I’ve been debating for weeks about whether to tell you this actually,” he admitted.

At that, Bucky frowned. “If you wouldn’t wanna talk about it sober, you shouldn’t tell me just ‘cause you’re tipsy.”

“Nah, I want to tell you. I probably would’ve soon anyway, I just never knew how to bring it up.” Bucky shrugged, as if to say _'go on then’_.

Steve combed his fingers through his hair, something Bucky recognised as a nervous tic, before shortly saying, “I like men.”

Whatever Bucky had been expecting, it was without a doubt _not_ that.

Knowing Steve was watching him for his reaction, Bucky tried his hardest to school some of the shock off his face, although he was sure at least some of it must’ve shown. Exactly why he was shocked he wasn’t sure- maybe just because the fact that there was a part of Steve that he didn’t already know wasn’t something he was used to. Or maybe because until now the possibility had never even entered his mind that Steve could like men. Another part of him felt something too- relief maybe? Happiness? He wasn’t sure exactly, but he chalked it up to feeling glad on his best friend’s behalf that Steve had gotten what was presumably quite a big secret off his chest.

“Guess I should stop trying to set you up with dames now then, huh?” He hadn’t realised Steve had been holding his breath or sitting as tensely as he was, until the moment when Bucky met his eyes with a reassuring smile and saw all the tension leave his frame at once. That reassured him too, knowing that it seemed he’d said the right thing.

Steve shrugged. “I mean you should, but only ‘cuz none of them are ever into me, so it’s a waste of time.” He must’ve seen the confusion crease Bucky’s brow because before he could voice a question Steve answered it. “I do still like women too.”

“Huh,” Bucky’s mind was reeling slightly, backtracking on facts that he’d thought he knew to be unequivocally true. Most guys like women, but some like men instead- that, he thought, was how it was. One or the other. It never really occurred to him some might like both, but now that he thought about it, it seemed obvious that was possible too. “I never knew that was a thing,” he admitted.

“Well,” Steve shrugged nonchalantly, “unless I’m a living exception to the rule, it sure as hell is.”

Bucky was sure that the right thing to do was some sort of emotional comfort, or sign of acceptance, but a combination of alcohol and surprise was rendering him a little too overwhelmed to formulate the response that he was sure Steve’s confession deserved.

After a few seconds, he gave it a try. “Even if you _were_ the living exception... as long as you’re living your truth and all that shit, and you’re happy with it, that’s all that matters. You know I’m with ya all the way pal.”

Contrary to what Bucky had been expecting Steve didn’t nod that he knew that, but instead just kept looking at Bucky, _really_ looking, until Bucky almost started to worry he’d said something wrong. He was just starting to worry when Steve met his eyes and leaned back in his seat, letting out a long sigh of relief. “James Barnes, how are you so good?” Bucky really didn’t know how to answer that, so he took it as rhetorical, breaking the eye contact and waiting for Steve to say something more. After about 30 seconds of silence he realised he wasn’t going to.

The honest answer was that he wasn’t really anything special. If anything, he would’ve said the same about Steve far more easily than about himself. But Steve would only argue if he tried to say that, and the compliment felt more than a little overwhelming, so much so that Bucky wasn’t really sure he’d be comfortable hearing Steve reinforce it as insistently as Bucky could see him doing if be denied it.

“Spending so much time around you- it rubs off on me I guess.”

He looked up again in time to see Steve roll his eyes, probably equally as uncomfortable with the complement as Bucky was.

“Whatever. This turned into a way sappier evening than I thought it would,” Steve commented, smoothly changing the subject and breaking whatever slight awkwardness lingered in the air.

“Guess that’s what drinking alone at home does to us, huh.” Steve laughed, and watching him the thought occurred to Bucky that it felt like something should have changed, but it hadn’t.

Despite the change in topic, Steve’s words were still very much in the forefront of his mind. It changed nothing about how he saw Steve, or felt about the man he’d called his best friend since childhood. It felt insignificant really- by far one of the less characterising things he knew about Steve Rogers as a person. And yet it also felt like it was nagging at him as something _pivotal_ , something that _meant_ something.

A few hours later, when Steve was asleep and Bucky was lay on his make-shift bed of clothes and sheets on the floor, Bucky worried that maybe he was uncomfortable with it, and that was why he couldn’t shake the thought of Steve’s confession. Bucky had never had a problem with men liking men, yet the idea that he could somehow have a problem with it when it came to his best friend made his stomach drop with guilt at thinking that could be possible.

But the more he thought about it, the more he reassured himself that that didn’t seem to be the case. He was no less comfortable now sharing a room with Steve, or knowing that they’d seen one another in varying states of undress plenty of times in their lives.

So, it was surely only a natural response that it would take him a while to process his best friend telling him something about how he’d always known him was wrong. That, Bucky figured, must be the case.


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky’s family and Steve’s had always been close. With their two boys being best friends since childhood it was only natural that their mothers got to know each other, and Steve and Sarah were often invited over for Sunday dinner. They’d never talked about it, but both Bucky and Winifred knew how much it had meant to both of them- with Steve having no siblings or father, their family had always just been the two of them. And while Steve had always had a close relationship with his mother, the early death of Steve’s father meant they’d never really gotten the chance to experience being a _full_ family.

Especially after Sarah’s passing, Winifred made a point of making it clearer than ever that Steve was welcome in the Barnes’ home any time, and she constantly fussed after his wellbeing as if he were her own.

So when Bucky was boxing in the final round of his championship- fighting for his third time to be crowned as champion, it was the most natural sight in the world when he looked down from the ring to see Steve and his sister, arms around each other, both shouting equally as hard for his victory.

And when Bucky won, once they were all done screaming and hugging and ready to head home, it came as no surprise when Becca said, “Mama’s cooking a big roast dinner for when we get back- for celebrating if you won or to cheer you up if you lost,” then she turned to Steve. “And she said to tell you that you’re coming Rogers, and I’m not to take no for an answer.”

Steve laughed, “Well I’m not gonna turn down a free hot meal, ‘specially not from one of the best cooks in Brooklyn.”

At that Bucky and his sister exchanged a look, Becca rolling her eyes, the siblings sharing a thought that Steve wasn’t in on. “What?”

“Nothin,” though the grin that Bucky wore when he spoke said otherwise. “Just, we keep saying this is why our mama loves you more than she loves us. You butter her up when she isn’t even _here_.”

Steve elbowed him lightly in the side. “Hey, that’s not true! But she’s always been so good to me, of course I talk her up!”

They bickered amicably the whole way back to the Barnes’ house, until they walked through the door and Becca announced their return by yelling, “He won mama!”

Not ten seconds later the tall, dark-haired figure of Winifred Barnes came through the door to the kitchen, joining them in the family room. “Don’t shout like that Rebecca. I very nearly jumped out of my skin thinking someone had broken in,” she chastised, though the wide smile on her face took away most of the severity of the scolding.

She turned her attention to Bucky, wrapping him in a hug that he immediately reciprocated. “I’m so proud of you my boy!” Bucky couldn’t have kept the grin off his face if he’d wanted to. The glow of pride that came whenever he made his mother happy took him back to the exact same feeling when he was a kid and came in top of the class time and time again, and when he won his first sports match after joining the team- he never got tired of this feeling.

“Thanks mama,” he muttered, hugging her tighter for a second before letting go. “Three competitions in a row, people are gonna start expecting me to keep this up pretty soon.” He was half joking, but the part of him that was still euphoric with the thrill of victory had started to wonder how many times he really _could_ keep winning. He was nervous about getting ahead of himself, but he also knew that he _was_ starting to draw eyes from a couple of bigger agencies who took part in bigger tournaments.

“And they’d be right to,” she replied, leaving Bucky a little lost for words.

Thankfully, she turned her attention to Steve after that. “And Steven. I haven’t seen you for two weeks now, you’ve had me worried about how many square meals you’re getting.”

“Sorry ma’am.” Watching the way Steve smiled at his mother’s affection always had a way of making Bucky’s heart feel warm at the way his best friend fit so easily into his family.

She tutted, looking him up and down. “You always look so skinny. It’s a good job I’m cooking enough to feed an army- you can take some of the leftovers home my dear.”

Bucky interjected, “Steve does cook for himself you know mama. Far better than Becca or I can.”

Despite the fact that she did indeed already know this, Winifred grumbled something about Steve, _“still needing a good mother-cooked meal that's not potatoes and vegetables warmed in a pan, or whatever you boys eat.”_ Then she startled as she remembered their food was still cooking and quickly turned to hurry back to the kitchen. When she was halfway back into the kitchen she called back behind her, “‘Becca, come and lay the table!”

The girl sighed loudly enough for her mother to hear it, Bucky smirking at his sister’s childish protest while she nevertheless did as she was told.

“I do love your ma,” Bucky turned to look at Steve, seeing the fond smile on his friend’s face.

“The sentiment’s definitely returned,” Bucky replied.

*

Three hours later, and Bucky was so full he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to  _look_ at food for the next week. His mother hadn’t been lying when she’d said she’d cooked enough to feed an army- between them they’d barely demolished half of what was on the table, and it was a known fact that the two Barnes children had bigger appetites than most.

“You two boys heading off to the movies later then?” Bucky’s mother asked conversationally while the two were stood at the kitchen sink, Bucky drying the dishes while she washed them.

“Steve tell you that?” Bucky was surprised she knew about that plan, since he hadn’t mentioned it himself. She nodded. “Yeah, we’re going to watch that new Western that everyone’s been talking about.”

“Just you two going? You’re not taking any girls out…?” 

Her tone was light, a little teasing and also curious but Bucky tried hard to keep the twinge of annoyance he felt out of his voice. “Yeah mama just us. We planned it to either celebrate my winning, or to take my mind off losing, you know?”

She hummed her understanding, but Bucky could sense that they still weren’t done with the topic. “Has Steve not got himself a girl yet? I do worry he’ll get lonely now he’s living by himself”

Bucky had to remind himself that her questions were coming from a place of care and concern to keep himself from giving a curt reply. He wasn’t even quite sure why it was irritating him so much, but why did she want Steve to find a girl and settle down so badly? “Not unless he’s keeping it a secret from me too,” he joked and forced a laugh, because it was the easiest response he could think to give that didn’t betray his sudden drop in mood.

“That’s a shame, he’s such a lovely boy, any lady would be lucky to have him.”

Bucky hummed in agreement but said nothing, still knowing that if he spoke it was likely to come out sounding more annoyed than he’d like. So instead he decided it would be safer to change the subject altogether. “Did Becca get her grades yet?”

*

It was another hour before Steve and Bucky left the house to head to the cinema. It wasn’t all that far from the Barnes’ house, but Steve and Becca had been so caught up in an argument about a character in some book she’d been reading- which, if Bucky was honest he hadn’t even heard of- that they almost hadn’t noticed the time. Thankfully, they managed to arrive just before the credits started to roll, ignoring the irritated looks they received from a few people in the row in front as they shuffled into seats, trying to quieten their breaths which were heavier than usual from almost running there. Steve’s in particular, was unnaturally strained.

While they had been laughing a second ago, rushing to sneak into the theatre, he was now mildly concerned. They hadn’t run too hard nor for too long- Steve generally knew the limits of his body, his asthma in particular- but that didn’t stop Bucky from worrying.

“You good?” Bucky asked, keeping his voice somewhat down but still loudly enough that someone from the row behind shushed him. Among his many conditions Steve was partially deaf, so if he mumbled or whispered there was next to no chance Steve would catch what he was saying, and Bucky had long since learned to stop caring if strangers gave him funny looks or shushed him for speaking a little too loudly.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, just need a minute or two to catch my breath.” His reply was still slightly breathless, but also regular enough that Bucky was reassured. As the film started he kept a slight eye on the sound of Steve’s breathing, until a couple of minutes in when it had completely returned to a natural rhythm, when he finally settled into his seat to focus on the film.

If Bucky was honest Westerns weren’t his favourite sort of movies, he preferred something with more of an engaging plot than a whole load of action- but he could still enjoy them all the same. The lead actor was a stereotypically handsome hero, and during one particular scene Bucky couldn’t help but notice the three girls in front of them whispering and acting quietly giddy while the lead did something heroic. The distraction slightly annoyed him, but he ignored it and turned his attention back to the film.

He didn’t really notice them again until the film was over and they were leaving the cinema, the girls giggling again, and Bucky couldn’t resist the urge to roll his eyes. “I don’t think they actually came for the film, more to watch John Wayne run around savin’ people.”

Steve laughed, slipping his hands into his pockets as they followed the masses out of the building and onto the street. “Probably. Don’t blame them for it though, you’ve gotta admit he’s handsome.”

Bucky shrugged, “eh, I suppose so.” He could admit that the actor definitely had the whole ‘rugged masculinity’ thing going for him that girls seemed to like.

“Hey,” it suddenly occurred to him. “What type of guys do _you_ like anyway?”

Bucky hadn’t thought the question would provoke any sort of defensive response given what Steve had said when he’d first told him, but the first thing Steve did was glance to his left at the man walking a few feet away from them. It took a second for Bucky to realise why, but when it clicked he could’ve kicked himself. Especially in the more _respectable_ areas of town than where he and Steve lived, people would speak with a tone of mild discomfort and disgust about some of the establishments around the Navy Yard, and the things that went on there. And more than once Bucky had heard men calling a particular type of people “queers”, and he could only imagine that more than once it had also been followed by a beating.

And even though Steve didn’t fit the same image as most people he’d seen slapped with that word in the street- men who dressed up in womens’ clothes and makeup, people who loudly rejected fitting in with the image of a ‘Good American Man’- admitting to liking men in the same way as women was probably enough to fit into that box too. Even if Steve knew Bucky didn’t think much of it, that didn’t mean no one else would.

He was just about to open his mouth to apologise for not thinking before mentioning it in a public setting before Steve cut him off with an answer. “Still figuring it out myself to be honest,” he admitted. “Why?”

Bucky hesitated, glancing at the people milling around them before presumably coming to the same conclusion that Steve had- none of them were paying anyone else the slightest bit of attention. He shrugged. “Just curious,” he said honestly. “I know your type in women, so I suppose I should know what you like in men too, right?”

Steve smiled, his body language now infinitely more relaxed than it had been a minute ago. “I guess… you know, the usual; tall, dark and handsome sort of thing.” He laughed slightly, and Bucky grinned too in response.

He couldn’t help the slight pique of curiosity that the phrase elicited from him too though. While Bucky didn’t really see _himself_ as exceptionally handsome, he’d been described using those exact words on a couple of occasions. Unwanted, the thought crept in that it was possible Steve could’ve thought about him like that before. Bucky pushed that thought away, half ashamed that it had even crossed his mind at all. They were best friends and just because he liked men it didn’t mean that Steve suddenly had a thing for him, in the same way that no man was attracted to _every_ girl he met.

“Noted,” Bucky responded, still smiling even if only he knew it had become somewhat forced.

They walked in silence for another few minutes before Steve spoke again. “Hey, do you wanna come with me to a bar this evening?”

“Have you even gotta ask?”

Steve scoffed his amusement, “usually, you’d have a point.”

“Usually?”

He looked thoughtful, like this was an idea that he’d had spur of the moment. “Well, you know there’s a good few places round here that gay people hang out. I’ve been kinda wanting to see what it’s like for a while now.”

Bucky knew his surprise definitely showed on his face, and he hoped Steve didn’t interpret his initial reaction as a bad one. It wasn’t that he was opposed to going there- sure, his parents had warned him and Becca away from that part of town since they were kids, but he knew that was just because like most people they had a very low opinion of the area and the things that went on. His hesitance was more based in the fact he wasn’t sure he’d _belong_ there.

Steve clearly noticed his hesitation, and quickly corrected himself by adding, “No pressure, I get it if you don’t want to, it’s no problem. I just asked ‘cus, well… they’re just like any other bars really. And when have I ever been to a bar without you tagging along too?”

He grinned at his own joke, though Bucky could hear the doubt behind it so he was quick to reassure his friend. “No, that’s no problem, sure we can go. I just hesitated ‘cus, well…” He rubbed his neck awkwardly, “Are you sure I wouldn’t make anyone uncomfortable? I mean,” he fumbled to explain what he was thinking- struggling to quite find the words to explain the anxiety he felt at the likely scenario that he’d be approached by another man. “If it’s a place for gay men to find each other… I’m probably gonna have to turn a few guys down, right?”

Steve visibly relaxed at hearing that his issue was only that. “Sure, probably. Like I said, you don’t have to come if you don’t want. But,” he thought about it for a moment, “I guess it’d only be like when girls turn _you_ down at bars- kinda awkward for a minute or two, but then you move on. And, _well_ , you know pretty well what that’s like…”

Bucky elbowed him in the side for that jab, but he could see that Steve was right- he might hurt a couple of feelings, but even if it was because he wasn’t into men it wouldn’t be any worse than any other rejection. “Shut it ya punk.” He retorted. “But sure, we can go. I’ll just head home and tell ma I’ll be back late, then we can go?”

The other man nodded his agreement, “sure.” They walked in silence for another few seconds before Steve added, “Thanks Buck.”

He wasn’t entirely sure what to say to that. “It’s nothin’ Stevie. Like you said, it’s just like any other bar anyway, right?”

“Yeah, but…” Steve’s voice took on that tone that it did when he was about to say something serious. “I’ve been wanting to go for a while, just… I want to meet some people who are like me, you know- people who get it. Be somewhere that I don’t feel like I have a weird secret.”

Bucky nodded. Though it wasn’t a feeling he could relate to, he could understand Steve feeling like that. “I get it. You don’t have to explain yourself to me though Stevie, you know that. If you want it we’ll do it,” he reminded him. “Besides, I’m sure there’ll be a guy or two there that could take your fancy.” He wiggled his eyebrows in an overly-suggestive manner and Steve tipped his head back with laughter at the implication.

“Well, I’m not counting it out of the possibilities,” he conceded, but from his tone Bucky couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. It was strange things being this way round for once- Steve being the one with potential prospects for the night while Bucky would be on the sidelines. 

Opting to stay with a response that would work if Steve was serious or not, he shook his head in mock disappointment. “Terrible- once upon a time I thought you were _pure_ , and had _respectable_  Steven Grant Rogers!” That just made Steve laugh more as they continued, heading generally back to Bucky’s home, while he tried very pointedly to ignore the unexplained nerves that hadn’t completely left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://thingswithwings.dreamwidth.org/213805.html  
> If you haven't seen this before you all definitely should because its GREAT, i love steve rogers, a canonical queer


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